Mommy School: One Mom's Story

Last week I shared a little about why we decided not to put our daughter into a formal preschool program. Looking back, I'm grateful we made the decision we did. However, once we made that decision, I knew we'd have to start pursuing an alternative.

Something Easy, Something Good

Cambrie isn't a sedentary child--not physically, not emotionally, and definitely not mentally. Her little brain (and mouth, usually) travels a mile a minute and craves new information to think and talk about. I figured I could throw together something at home that would be fun and help her practice letters and numbers.

From my Mommy perspective, however, I had a few requirements. Since I was chasing around a fifteen-month-old toddler and due in December with baby #3, whatever we set up needed to be easy. I loved a lot of the classroom and Pinterest ideas I found online, but I knew if I tried to plan too much too soon, it would all come crashing down around me and I'd feel like a failure.

I took my cues from a friend and mother that I really admire--she has six children, is totally down-to-earth, and insists she is far from perfect. But when you see her children, you see they are growing up into intelligent, capable, compassionate human beings; you know she's got to be doing something right.

She told me about mini-lessons she'd do with her youngest. They'd go over one letter a day, she told me. One day, they looked at the letter "T" on the chalkboard, then she handed her son a roll of "T"oilet paper to play with however he liked. He had it streaming all over inside the house, making a big mess and having a ball. That image, the fun and simplicity, stuck with me.

So when I started to plan out our Mommy School, I decided I'd focus on one thing a week. Maybe the letter B. Maybe numbers 1-10. Maybe "The Sky." And as long as I loosely incorporated the week's focus subject into each day's activity, I'd be doing just fine.

As I look back now, my favorite part about our set-up was how little time and effort were required to make a real and significant difference. The 'difference,' though, was not the kind I was expecting--and I think it ended up being the most important difference of all.

The Mommy School Routine

Every day, after James went down for his morning nap and before Cambrie began her TV time, we had Mommy School. Our whole "lesson" usually only took 15-30 minutes.

We had two sections to our Mommy School: the beginning routine, which hardly varied at all, and the lesson or activity, which varied widely. Our little routine at the beginning looked something like this:

Sing a song to start things up.

Look at the calendar to determine the month, day, and date. Count from day 1 in the month to the current day.

Check the weather outside. Record the date and the weather in our Mommy School Journal.

I always let her draw a picture of the weather, and then I'd caption it after she told me what she'd drawn. This one says, "Cambrie is standing in the rain with her flower umbrella. The rain is coming from clouds."

That's it. About five minutes total for this beginning routine. We'd then move into our activity or lesson.

The Lesson/Activity

Before I share with you some of the things we actually did, I want to stress one thing: I made everything up. And I don't mean "I spent hours developing my own curriculum from scratch." I really and truly was flying by the seat of my pants.

Beyond a few activities that I planned a week or so in advance, and beyond a decision to "try to focus" on one topic or letter or number for a week at a time, I used no lesson plans. I did not pour over curricula. I did not attempt to do anything in the "right order." Half the time I'd decide on our activity or lesson five minutes before we started.

It sounds awful, I know. But to be honest, I think it was a recipe for success. I needed something that I could do consistently, without stressing myself out, without becoming overwhelmed, and while still being able to look forward to spending time with my daughter. Cambrie needed consistency, routine (hence the very routine first few steps), an opportunity to try something new, and one-on-one time with Mommy. My hastily-thrown-together method fit the bill perfectly.

Most often, we'd do two activities, at least one of which involved writing, drawing, or tracing in her journal. Here are some sample journal pages:

Activity: play with a ruler, measuring random objects and toys.

Journal: trace the word "star." Activity: draw lines from the word to it's picture.

After I made that matching game for her in the previous photo, she wanted to make one for me. So that's what we did.

Journal/Activity: Trace the word "Thanksgiving" and "journal" about the holiday. (She'd enjoyed the hand turkey that we'd done the day before, so she asked to trace her hand again as well.)

Activity: count and write the number of ornaments on each tree.

The Journal activities were the easier, fall-back activities. Though I've been emphasizing ease and simplicity, the fact is there were a lot of fun, slightly more involved ideas I wanted to try with her, too. I have Pinterest to thank/blame for that. And that was fine! I'd do one or two bigger activities a week.

Whether they were big or small, here are a few activities we did together:

During the week we had the letter B, we "B"aked a "B"erry pie.

Chalkboard fun. To be completely honest, she thought this was kind of boring. You've been warned.

Buttons were a hit! Here I had her fill in the outlines of the numbers with buttons. Other times she'd count and write the number of buttons, or sort them by color.

She just now saw me posting this picture from last fall and immediately asked, "Can I play with buttons? Can I do those numbers again?" Why yes, m'dear, you certainly may. Button play does usually end in a lovely button mess. Again, you've been warned.

 Other activities we did together:

• Use all our senses by going outside and finding something to hear, something, to see, something to touch, etc.
• Watch Bill Nye the Science Guy clips on YouTube (oh yes, we did)
• Learn about St. Louis, MO, because Daddy was there for work one week
• Play around with Google Earth
• Memorize Poems (like this Thanksgiving one--I improvised actions to go with it. She still remembers the poem with very little prompting)
• Watch a video about the first Thanksgiving, then review it several times so she could "teach" Daddy about it when he got home from work.
• Look at pictures online of things we're interested in, like our skeletons, or the moon
• Watch this video of the phases of the moon
• Learn how to draw something together, like candy canes or Christmas trees
• Learn about Christmas in different countries (learn how to say "Merry Christmas" in other languages, watch a YouTube clip about Las Posadas, write a letter to the Christkind and decorate it with glitter, etc.)

Why Mommy School Was Worth It

You may recall me mentioning above that I saw a real and significant difference in Cambrie after regularly holding Mommy School. It probably doesn't take someone with a teaching certificate to see that the activities we were doing were hardly formulated for academic success. Why, then, do I feel things worked out so wonderfully?

One. We were able to actively pursue and satiate a good deal of my daughter's natural curiosity. We'd be in the middle of Google-image-searching skeletons, when she'd point to something and ask, "What's that? And that?" And off we'd go, searching now for images of human hearts and lungs and other organs, talking about how they work and why we need them.

Two. Cambrie was honestly better behaved in those morning hours. My guess is the added structure to our day and being able to count on an activity she enjoyed helped her to feel more in control. I'm no child psychologist, but I know structure (and feeling in control of my day) helps me to feel calmer and happier, too.

Three. I do think Cambrie learned a lot. She gained familiarity with letters and numbers, and we did a lot of letter and word tracing to help fine motor skills. She also learned a lot about other cultures and fields of knowledge (biology, astronomy, geography) that she'd never thought about before. Even if she doesn't remember every fact we talked about, she has an added appreciation for the things she doesn't yet know.

Four. And Five And Six And Seven And... I feel like this reason must count for more than one, since it was the most surprising and important benefit of Mommy School: my relationship with my daughter was truly and deeply strengthened. Before we started Mommy School, I probably would have told you that my daughter and I had a good relationship. After all, I'd been reading with her and talking with her and doing activities with her for her whole life. I loved her so much. But something changed.

Maybe it was me; after all, I was now consciously going out of my way to prepare and set aside special time just for Cambrie and just for her benefit. Serving another person so specifically changes how you feel about them. I found myself marveling at my daughter and appreciating her in ways I simply hadn't before. The more I gave up my time for her, the closer to her I felt and the more I loved her.

But maybe it was Cambrie; after all, she was the recipient of time and attention in a way we'd never tried before. She felt important, listened to, and loved, and she found herself encouraged to grow and explore in a lot of new directions. Most importantly, she felt these things on a consistent, regular, predictable basis, rather than sandwiched between cleaning up messes, scolding and discipline, a screaming younger brother, and rushed schedules. Maybe being the beneficiary of that positive attention drew her closer to me.

What I do know is this: no matter how boring or simplistic my Mommy School lesson of the day was, Cambrie was eager to participate. She was disappointed if we missed a day. Often Patrick and I would hear her comment about how much she loved Mommy School.

And the best part? One day, while I was writing the date in the Mommy School journal at the beginning of our lesson, she suddenly snuggled up close and threw her arms around my large, pregnant tummy.

"Mommy," started my non-snuggling, not blatantly affectionate child.

"What, babe?"

"I love you!"

"...I love you, too, Cambrie."

This scene, previously a relatively rare occurrence, began showing up over and over. In the most random moments and the least obvious of times, she'd run up to me and proclaim her love. It can't be hard to imagine what that meant to this imperfect, boring, plain-Jane mother. That sort of feeling runs deeply, is fierce and strong.

I love you, too. How I love you, my little one! And I always, always will!

And my only explanation, the only thing that had changed, was that we now had regularly scheduled, consistently held, positive one-on-one time: Mommy School.

Elder David A. Bednar, a modern Apostle of Jesus Christ, said:

"Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results."

(Read more of what he said on that subject here.)

If there is anything I hope and pray for on my journey as a mother, it is "extraordinary results," manifested by my children's health, growth, and happiness.

Every year my daughter grows older, our schedules and circumstances will change. But I hope I never forget the lesson I learned last fall about what it means to teach (and spend time with and serve and love) my children. I hope I never forget that complicated and impressive efforts aren't necessary and may very well miss the point. And I hope I never forget that the real benefits I seek come from small and simple things.